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Topics - Lord Danoir the first

Bike Talk / New vs Old
September 11, 2020, 08:12:32 am
Watch from 12:30


Bike Talk / What would you buy?
July 15, 2019, 09:48:34 am
Potential replacement for the Buell, I'd love to know what other people would choose?

Here's the criteria:

- Budget of around 4K
- Road bike
- Must be unusual / rare / quirky..... basically think Buell, but something else.
- Doesn't have to be a great bike as such, and certainly not fast, but think fun to ride.
- Ideally hold its value or have the potential to increase. I've done quite nicely out of the Buell.

Current fave is an original Speed Triple:
Bike Talk / Buell dilemma
July 10, 2019, 03:42:56 pm
So let's set it straight from the off..... I love my Buell...... a lot...... It's not just that I love riding it and I love the looks of it, it was a gift from Anna for my 40th at a time we really couldn't afford it, so it has enormous sentimental value..... and she loves it too, for that reason.

So when I found out there was a Buell specialist in Manchester, and apparently the only place in the world who works solely on Buells, I was delighted..... even more chuffed when I found out that they were having a BBQ and open day last Saturday.

So, my beloved Buell and I join arse in seat and skip down the road for a look-see.

Upon arrival: all very ordinary. A shitty industrial estate on the edge of town, a bike garage...... and lots of chaps (some actually wearing chaps) on Buells........ Friends to be made!!!!

I dismount, remove lid and waft fabulous hair in the sun...... in slow motion of course, and head off for a mooch.
I was in the doorway of the workshop when a chap (just jeans) says to me "you look lost", to which I reply "no, I'm just being nosey"........ and that sets of a conversation with 'Maz' who I later learn is the owner of the establishment, a Buell nut and widely regarded know-it-all of the marque...... and right foul mouthed cunt, I might add.

"what have you got" he says
"an XB9" I reply, to which, some randomer in the background shouts "don't say that, Maz hates XB's!!"
me, looking at Maz - "why?"
Maz - "because they're shit"
me - "well I love mine, what's wrong with them?"
Maz - "where do I start?"........

and of-the-fuck he chunners....... for about half a cock sucking hour!!!!

I'll bypass the incidentals (of which there were many) and cut to the main bug bear......... "and, of course, they ALL blow up, and there's fuck all you can do but throw the cunt away" (nice cuntage I remember thinking at the time).

Turns out, that there's a cog in the oil pump mechanism somewhere which wears down over time and spits pieces of steel in to and around the engine, causing all sorts of untold damage, eventually resulting in a full on, old school 2 stroke stylee seizure (of which I have considerable experience).

Mine, having covered a shade over 17K is well past the point at which it could have been saved and according to Maz "is like a fucking hand grenade with the pin pulled out" (I'm sure there was a sneaky "cunt" in there too, but it was too subtle for me to remember).

According to old potty mouth, it's only a matter of time, and very little at that, before my beloved Buell shits itself and becomes salvage parts........ at which point, more randomers interject with "I'll have your <insert part>"........... fucking nosey cunts......

"So, what do I do Maz?"....... I ask him, hoping that the friendly familiarity of name use may just eek out a nugget of compassion and a consequential lifeline...... but no, 4 options apparently:

1. Ride the cunt until it fails and flog the bits
2. Sell or trade the cunt..... fucking pronto!!
3. If you love the cunt so much, stick it in your garage and buy a decent bike
4. Engine swap, if you're insane and love the cunt so much

I don't want to break it, I don't want to sell or trade it and I don't want another bike taking up more space in the garage. An engine swap will also require a strip to make sure I'm not swapping bad for bad.

Anyway, I'm not looking for answers....... a problem shared, is a problem halved by all accounts, so I apologise in advance for the inevitable loss of sleep you're all bound to suffer henceforth.

Fucking Buell............ but I do love the cunt

Electrical / Power commander and quick shifter
May 08, 2019, 12:34:44 pm
So my RC8 doesn't have a quick shifter, which it needs....... but it does have a PCIII.

I want a quick shifter on my RC8 and I need you lovely fucking fuckers to give me the down low on what I do, because reading the internet is boring.



Bike Talk / the 2019 Alzo SP vs the 2019 Moz RR
February 01, 2019, 11:00:02 am
I think I prefer the looks of the Moz and it's probably the faster of the two, but I've heard reliability is an issue and the dealer network is poor.

The Alzo is probably more 'real world' fast and undoubtedly comfier for the longer journey.

They're both very talkey
fucking....... literally

So I've been doing some cosmetic work on it since I got my blast cabinet......... but having noticed an ever so slight rattle, I decided to address what appears to be a notorious cam chain tensioner issue.

First job is to remove the tensioner (lock wiring the chain to the cam sprocets) and clean and check it for cracks....... mine was fine so I re-fitted it...... the recommendation is that you slide the tensioner arm all the way in, then turn the crank by hand so the tension re-sets....... so I did that.

BUT....... being paranoid, I ordered a new tensioner anyway..... not fucking cheap and took ages to come, but I had bits to sort anyway, so no problem.

New tensioner arrives and I notice right away that the spring effort is WAY stronger than the existing....... so, glad I'd sorted a new one, I fitted that.

Everything back together and, can I get the blighter to start?....... can I fuck!...... just won't fire..... injectors working and there's a decent spark.

anyway, big do's and little do's, the cam timing is way off......... I suspect what's happened is that when I've rotated the engine with the existing tensioner back in, the spring hasn't pushed the tensioner slider with enough force and the chain has slipped......... FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Now, a few things appear to be in my favour, you may disagree so feel free to weigh in:

1. The engine turned, and still turns freely by hand with the new tensioner in.

2. It also turns freely by starter with no mechanical noises.

3. The cam lobe gaps are all within factory range, suggesting no bent stems.

I'm aware that even a little contact will cause issues, but I'm going to reset the cams and hope to Christ I got away with it.

Wish me luck.
Bike Talk / What constitutes a ‘keeper’?
January 13, 2019, 10:38:42 pm
Ownership til the day you depart this mortal coil or anything over a defined period of time?

Discuss....... or don't
Bike Talk / Booked some tuition
November 28, 2018, 04:28:13 pm
Dean Ellison was doing tuition at Cartegena. I bumped in to him at the airport on the way home and had a bit of a chin wag. Liked what he had to say so I've booked him for a full day one on one when I go out again in March.

Never too late to learn, I reckon.

Mind you....... I don't think he races now, so I'm not sure he'll feel the benefit  :rofl:
Bike Talk / Track bike
November 20, 2018, 08:55:20 am
So I've returned from Cartegena completely hooked on track days again, so much so that I've booked it again in March.

I was the only chap there with a road bike and not running warmers and it did make the first couple of laps slightly uncomfortable........ especially a near monumental highside, saved only by my hefty weight the one time I tried to push after only a lap.......... had I been more the size of Gilby, I'd still be in fucking orbit.......

Aaaaaaanyway, Anna casually mooted the idea of a track bike, so obviously I'm now all over that shit........ typically, with my grandiose pallet, heart leads head on all matters and I'm directed towards the more exotic and perhaps more fragile rather than something more 'meat and potato'......

With a budget of around 7K (tight bitch) I've identified two possibilities; which Dicko thinks I'm insane to consider......... as always, my response: "be reet"...... as a partnership, those words have served us well for nearly 18 years, so I've no compulsion to abandon them now.

Seriously though kids..... will it be reet?

Bike Talk / Custom lights
October 11, 2018, 10:57:05 am
The twin headlight arrangement on my Buell looks rather dated and I like the idea of inserting small LED lights in to the little fairing on the front, like this:

Can anyone point me in the direction of the type of units that would be suitable?


Suspension / Rider sag
August 02, 2018, 10:15:28 am
35mm usually does it for sports bike road and track although I've got the Buell set at 40mm.

I've read with the KTM RC8, it should be nearer 25-30mm........ do any of you beautiful fuckers have an opinion?........ Except Carbon of course.

Don't point me in the direction of the KTM forum...... useless

specifically for my MVF4 which I shall be using for both road and track use.

So...... what say you futhamuckers
Bike Talk / Decent lid brands
June 12, 2017, 04:05:11 pm
Have never considered protecting my valuable napper with anything other than Arai which I've used for the best part of 30 years.

Dicko tells me that nowadays, they perform poorly in tests against other brands.

So, kiddywinks..... what's hot and what's not?

Answer me now, or incur my wrath........... please
Bike Talk / Powder coating
May 08, 2017, 12:03:15 pm
Dropped my Buell wheels off to be powder coated this morning. The bloke quoted me £40 each which i thought was expensive as I've only ever paid £20 ish.

Presumably this is the going rate nowadays and I'm just out of touch?
This, piece of shit....... I was hoping to spend half an hour on it and then use it to get to football.

Turns out that I bought the wrong exhaust for it.... innit....

Hateful things to work on, I shan't be acquiring another.

Come over, have a brew and a cuddle and fuck off with the thing...... there may be cake.
Non-Bike help questions / rhubarb for rhubarb
November 22, 2016, 01:00:48 pm
rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb
I bought Anna a cheap second hand 125 Keeway (?) scooter from the auctions.

Seems to run OK but hits 35mph and doesn't rev any higher...... are they restricted?

We always hire scooters abroad and they all seem to zip along at a decent lick.
Bike Talk / New Z900
September 16, 2016, 08:12:32 am
I'd like radial brakes though for that proper retro-with-tech look.

Shame it won't be out any time soon though...... I've not seen anything which flicks my switch so much in a while.

Bike Talk / Your B1
February 19, 2016, 12:49:06 pm
Just reading that Carbon has a B1 he's 'spent a fortune' which I'd love to see, and I know it was a popular bike among us Ninjas back in the day, so I'd love to see other people's B1's and find out what you did to them (if anything).

So, I'll start off with mine, which Dicko and I shared as a track bike and Dicko built from brand spanking.

From what I can remember, we had a full acky race system, Ohlins rear shock, K Tech forks, Ohlins damper, race harness, HD engine covers and a few other bits and pieces like rear sets and levers etc. The engine was stock though but it handled beautifully.

Eventually sold to Emma (NG) for a song.

So...... let's see yours.
Suspension / Nitron Shocks
February 05, 2016, 02:53:28 pm
What's the good word people?

I can get a brand spanking bad boy for my MV with a remote hydraulic preload adjuster for £600 as opposed to over double that for an Ohlins.

Other recommendations welcomed of course.